Marriage: Why I choose to wait to be found

When a woman pursues a potential husband, it does nothing but upset the godly order of things

Ladies and gentlemen, I am one of those women who refuse to yield to societal pressure that loudly insists that our biological clocks are ticking and we are way overdue in the marriage department. I can almost hear the old uncles’ thoughts: “You should have been married by now; when are we ever going to celebrate and “eat” the dowry that the young man will bring?”

This same society goes further to suggest that I should take the initiative to go looking for a man, a future spouse, rather than wait to be found. Instead, I will unapologetically and categorically state that it is the role of a man to find a wife! Honestly, unless my feet are firm on the ground, I might settle for just anyone, more so one who can bring a good number of bleating goats and mooing cows to the clan elders and uncles.

Call me old-school, but I believe the man was created to lead a family and, by extension, to initiate discussions concerning marriage. To pursue the woman he desires – the one who has caught his eye.

Pursuit is one aspect that defines his manhood. He enjoys the challenge. It gives his ego a platform to be heightened and massaged because once a lady accepts his advances he will feel like a king who has won a war. It gives him a sense of accomplishment.

For a man who knows what he wants, no distance is too far when it comes to pursuing a woman. He will cross hills and valleys and overcome any obstacles. And I firmly believe I am worth his loving pursuit.

It is said that he who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from our Creator. I don’t mean to blow my own trumpet but I believe I will be a blessing to him because I will contribute to his comfort in this life. My femininity will help soften the harsh edges of his masculinity. I will make a suitable companion as he journeys through life.

I will choose to be the wise woman who builds her house rather than the foolish one who tears it down with her own hands. I will be his confidant and a source of encouragement to him in his responsibilities; I’ll bring warmth to his home and make it a place he looks forward to enjoying after work. When he deviates from his purpose, I will lovingly run it by him again. I will be his recreational mate and meet his desire for respect and loyalty; I’ll let him lead and nurture his children… the list goes on and on.

If I were to do the seeking, wouldn’t I be depriving him of his rightful place of leadership? I will have shown a lack of humility from the onset of the relationship and this would displace me from being positioned at his feet, which is a powerful place of submission and vulnerability.

So, as I continue to wait to be sought, I will resolve to be content in my season of singleness. Meanwhile, I intend to position myself in places where he can find me rather than hanging around in the house, praying and waiting. But I am not talking about exhibiting myself like a commodity on display on the shelf waiting for a buyer.

I can only pray that as he seeks and finds me, he will see that he has found a good thing and will eventually obtain favour from God.

Wish me luck!

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